To be or not to be?

When I was two I had an NDE...near death experience, yep, I sure did. Complete with me "watching"my little 2 yr old body being "worked on" in the ER... I drank mineral spirits in a "coca cola" bottle and tried to "meet my maker" early, too early. I was then put in a crib in a hallway of all places, with what I swear was "chicken wire" on top to keep me from climbing out!

I guess you could say I had an angel on my shoulder from the beginning. I always felt "different" always...that is a common thread among NDE's. I wasn't looking for the light that I remember because I didn't know I should be...Somebody up there must have liked me.

When I was 13, I made a friend in Jesus...it seemed quite natural. Me and Dee were 'baptized' on the same Sunday at the local Baptist church. And so began a religious journey that would be trimmed with a hefty side of "guilt" that I brought on myself-Baptists were very subtle about that, and besides,we could NEVER match the guilt of Jews and Catholics. I knew that I knew that Jesus was "it" He bought my ticket to heaven. The Doobie Brothers said it :"Jesus is just all right with me" and I am sure that I am "going off to the spirit in the sky" someday in the far, far future.

So, me and Dee (Yes she IS the Dee in the title of my blog) started going to church every Sunday.That is what you DID in the sixties! Of course, we didn't "mind" if we sat with a cute boy or two, while we were there, either! ( Enter Bobby, the "other" friend in my title) Bobby was the "son of the preacher man" really! A surfer, too and he had some mighty cute friends too...I am sure that Dee and I "dated" each and every one of them, if even it was just one date. Except I did NOT date Bobby...he was too special, he was my first "boy" friend! Sounds funny,huh? But true...

Back in that day, girls and boys were not platonic friends. Oh no! And When Harry Met Sally was even written yet! Dee was and still is my first BFF, except of course, my sister. I got her when I was born...she was waiting for me, just a year and one week older than me. We were and still are inseparable. We dated brothers and even married brothers and have lived next door to each other our WHOLE lives! Whew! That's a whole other episode! Incidentally, she is the one who crawled way up on the shelf and said "I'll get it!" and gave me the poison coca cola! Hmm, maybe she was my built in best friend, but was I hers? We will never know...she admits no guilt! (we're Baptists, remember?)

Back to Dee! She and Bobby dated, dated! I think he was her first true love...and they were my role models. I wanted that! I dreamed about it and I tried so hard to have a first true love, but I think I just imagined that I did! Well, Bobby and Dee were my best friends and they fixed me up with a 'kid' who 'liked' me..."Why don't you "like" him? He "likes" you!" Well, that was his first mistake, liking me first and admitting it. But, even though he was shorter than me (they were ALL shorter than me!) he was kinda cute and sweet and a surfer,too, so I tried to like him, but it didn't work...he overwhelmed me...maybe he could 'sense' how different and special I really was- remember, I had an NDE! or I could 'sense' how special I was but it was like wearing two different shoes. They look alike, they are both flats ( I could never wear heels!)and no one would really notice, but one shoe was black and the other one was navy-they just didn't go together! And besides, his mother rode a broom! And "that's ALL I have to say about that!" to quote Forrest Gump!

So, there were two, ok three, other cute, short surfer boys that I had "crushes" on. The first two were absolutely adorable and sweet, but alas, neither one "liked me like that" They liked me like a friend -Crap!( the third one was actually taller than me, but of course, he already had a girlfriend and he moved away to Ohio or someplace romantic like that) I remember kissing him 'goodbye' on my porch, very innocent and wonderful and sweet because he was taller than me! Wow, that's what I wanted, a tall, cute, surfer guy! A few short years later, I married my very own, tall, cute, surfer guy...sigh...just like in the movies, huh? Heck no, but what can I tell you? I had a poster of Romeo and Juliet on my bedroom wall and I took Shakespeare in high school! I was smitten with the very idea of romance and true love!

I even 'tried out' the football player as a boyfriend and yes, he was even shorter than me! He was generous to a fault ( I found out later that he didn't exactly 'pay' for the things he brought to me...a TV, a vacuum cleaner, stuff like that) and he had a wandering eye, as did I! So we BOTH dated other people! In truth, I don't think we ever DID officially break up! If I ever see him again, I guess I will have to clarify this...Also, during this time, I was totally in love with the devil himself! He was off-limits, no way would I ever get to date this handsome, tall, dangerous,older man! Why? because he was my brother's friend, that's why! Taboo! I kinda remember, there was some flirting and he was drinking (he was always drinking!) and my brother, slightly sloshed himself, sorta pushed him into the wall, and it wasn't drywall, it was cement and maybe it's my special magical memory, but for years to come, there was a slight indent or impression of 'his' buttocks in the wall...hmm...unrequited Romeo and Juliet crap again!

And so, during my "Shakespearean" years, as I like to call them, my BFF's, Bobby and Dee were there through all or most of it...Who knew, that Bobby was on the road to a life with Shakespeare himself or that I would marry my own, sweet William? or that Dee would find another Romeo, in another land? She moved away to small town USA and I was crushed with grief and had only my friend Bobby or that's how I felt, anyway!

Alas and alack (is that even a word?) I found my prince and climbed down from the tree and lived "happily ever after"

THE END.

P.S. The identities have been changed to protect the "guilty"

I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.