Are you talkin to me?

OK! I am gonna tell the WHOLE world for the first and LAST time!!! My name is NOT Mary and NOT Maria! I have a sister named Maria and we don't even call HER Maria, we call her Ria...My name is Marie...Normally I answer to just about anything including "Joy" or Cheryl (my other sister's name) or "Nurse" or Mrs. so and so... Heck, You can even call me Weezy or Ree or Weezyree (only,of course if we are friends).

I am usually pretty cool, calm and collected, but this is a warning, because I fear I have turned into one of my most beloved movie characters in Steel Magnolias: not sweet M-lynn, although, there was a time I was called "Sweet Marie" And I am not even close to my precious Truvy, who I have 'modeled' my alter ego, "Henna Bouffant" after. No, I am "Weezer" the crabby ole broad, that says "I'm sweet, I've just been in a very bad mood for many years"She is a bitch on wheels walking a dog and I have been trying hard to keep her under wraps, but she is 'out of the closet' now!

Maybe it was the card a co-worker gave me last night...The front said "Jesus loves You" and when I opened it up, it said "Everyone else thinks you are an ass____!"

Well, then...it wasn't really directed at me, it was just being 'shown' to me and I DID say something 'ugly' about handing it back out to someone who knocks at your door at dinnertime...and then I decided to just throw it in the trash, because it WAS ugly... I just hope and pray that some sweet little ole lady or man in environmental services who really loves Jesus does NOT open it up!

Anyway, enter Weezer; she is the worst of me and she usually 'gets crazy' on the telephone! Don't call my house and act dumb and rude! If you have 'business' with me ,THEN I think you should say my name correctly and don't get friendly unless I say you can get friendly! I happen to work at a job that requires multiple phone calls. Sometimes I make the calls and sometimes I receive them. I am required to be polite at all times, and I actually am very good at being polite at all times. I may 'mumble' some comment after I hang up..."idiot" and even "jackass" come to mind, BUT, I am always polite on the phone!

What happened to manners? Do you know you can "hear" a smile over the phone? Oh yes, yes you can! I hear it every single time I talk to Tom or Bill or Sandra or Kim or...the list goes on and on. I can also "hear" RUDE or someone rolling their eyes...Don't get rude or crazy! Bon Qui Qui (another one of my favorite characters from Mad TV) is a "made up" person and she IS all of those rude and crazy people who 'annoy' HER wrapped up into one! ("Securidy!")

So again, if you call me...Make sure it is at a decent hour! I will NOT be responsible for what I say to anyone who wakes me up or interrupts dinner! Ask for me by my correct name and then state your business in a polite tone, and it wouldn't hurt to 'smile' now would it? OK, now we can talk...Don't make me call out Weezer!

Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me.