These Dreams!

Dreams are funny aren't they? Sometimes you wake up in the morning with what I like to call: a dream hangover! the kind that won't let you fully wake up in to the real world and just start your day! It's like they want to become a part of your reality...the dream has a life of it's own. You know, dreams can send messages and ideas and thoughts and revelations...A couple books here and there talk about them...I think one is a little book called The Bible and I DO have a reference book called "10,000 Dreams and Their Meanings" 10,000? really? To have 10,000 dreams it would take...let me do some quick math in my head (OKAY! I used a calculator!) Well, it would take 27.397 years so I guess the average Joe could have close to 30,000 in a lifetime, IF you are lucky!

So anyway! MY guess is that I have had almost 20,000 dreams and in my particular case, I remember about 5 of them to be hangovers which is 0.0005% (yeah, I used the calculator AGAIN! So?) Whew! But If I really think about it, there is a correlation to the amount of real life hangovers I have really had...Wow, I should get paid for this kind of research! And YES! I have only had about 5 hangovers in my life, and they were memorable too! Hmm, someone really needs to discover me...I have all kinds of ideas that nobody else does and I need to tell it to the world! OR maybe I have all kinds of ideas that everybody else does, but they have just not written it down! Either way, I need to get this info out there! So back to my dream last night,that is hanging on...It was very personal and real and involved a friend and it was a message to all who would have friends and call them dear. And I happen to have some of the greatest friends ever. I am "gifted" with friends...they are like diamonds and I have quite the "diamond tennis bracelet" of friends, I must say!

 I don't know if you choose your friends or they choose you or life chooses them for you, but the riches that come with friendships are one of life's "eight wonders" My brother and my sister are my first best friends and they were "waiting " for me when I was born, so they were my first two diamonds and they sparkle brilliantly to this day! I have never had a fight with either one of them (People don't usually believe this, but it's TRUE!) Now that is not to say that they both have not done ME bodily harm...I think I discussed this in an earlier blog, BUT I really, really LOVE them and as I am writing this, I realize that I learned about real love from them, not my parents... Sorry Mom and Dad, you did the best you could, but they loved and cared and protected me while you two worked and lived your detached adult lives in the 50s and 60s, smoking and drinking and cavorting in your spare time...Is that why they call them Mad Men?

 It was not Father Knows Best OR The Donna Reed Show at our house... Baby Boomers, huh? They had us, but what did they do with us or for us? They just had a bunch of kids cause that's what people did? Thank God for whoever invented birth control! I don't know about YOU, but I really gave a lot of thought to having my kids and I had only two...We wanted more,but I could go on and on about the whys and what ifs, and then there is the feeling of wonder...A child is so precious...I wonder if I did right by her...I hope I did...It was MY decision that brought her into this world...Is she happy? Could I have been a better parent? (YES!) But here is the real wonder...Baby Boomers never gave it a thought, they just had kids cause everybody else did...I could be wrong ,but I don't think so...Whoa! Where did that come from? I told you! Someone needs to publish all this stuff  I come up with! So, back to dream hangovers...You didn't really think I would share something as personal as to what my dream was about, did you? It WAS about friendship and love, that is all I will say and maybe when I DO write a book, it will include all those treasures, but not today! Today I will just be thankful to my parents, and since they had a bunch of kids anyway, that the bonus was this: I ended up with the best gifts of all, the best brothers and sisters on this earth, the ones who really taught me about love and friendship and I am a better friend to all because of them...

Why's it so hard to love one another...love your sisters, love your brothers

When I was "old"

When I turned 50, I had a big birthday party with 20 of my girlfriends! We had a tea party and dressed up in hats and fur stoles (real ones provided by the tea party place, so?) We had tea and little sandwiches and small slices of cake...It was great, although, I am sure most of us stopped for a burger on the way home...In the olden days, women stayed thin because they ate so little, I guess... 

 Anyway, I decided to "crown myself Queen" and start a Red Hat ladies group. We planned all kinds of activities, but mostly we had birthday parties for anyone who was turning 50. We went "downtown" and wore our red hats sitting outside at sidewalk cafes...It was fun, it was new...BUT then the "official red hat society" became a giant old lady dressed in purple and red! We tried to keep up! We even went to a convention and Elvis was there, too! It was a sea of old women! We looked at each other and thought..."Are we this old?" Naw!!!! We are not this old!!! This lasted a few years, long enough to collect red and purple stuff and spend our hard earned cash on "official red hat society" items. Hmm, wonder what this stuff could bring on E-bay?

 Well, everywhere we looked, there were groups of old ladies dressed in red and purple! Yikes! I was getting sick of it! We were not a cute, little different group of young, old ladies anymore...so, we gradually dissolved and became who we really were...young, older women (in number, only!) and we realized that it is OK to be a red hat lady, but we wanted to be unique, and that meant being ourselves! 

 So, no more hats, no more red, no more purple, no more Queens, no more dues to a crazy multi-million dollar business (The old broads who started this were business savvy and now rich!) So why give them anymore cash or attention? they didn't offer to sell us stock in their company, now did they? I did have fun at the time, BUT I can honestly say, I don't miss it! I would like to dress up in a hat and have mango martinis on the "boulevard" again, though! So to all my "tea party" friends, let's do it! 

But let's be a "young hat society" let's turn back the clock and not grow older, but grow better, like fine wine! Hmm..."fine wine society?" Betcha I could get a bunch of girlfriends to join this! WE probably have a good 20 years before we really become old...Aren't old women retired? Well, me and my friends are not retired or even close, so we will remain young at heart and in spirit and then someday, when we are really old and if all the wine in the world is gone, we will still not ever wear red and purple again!

 

While we're young and beautiful, we'll party down on Main Street...

Not Nice!

Did you ever accidentally cut someone off while you were driving? You are lying if you said no! We have all done it! Here’s the real question…Did you mean to? Most of you will say "of course not! "And there will be a few buttheads who say ‘the other guy deserved it’ There’s a movie called The Blind Side, but what about a featurette called The Blind Spot? A very attractive middle age blond lady driving her brand new Mazda 6 (Sounds like a zoom-zoom car ,huh? It’s really a “mini-van” in disguise!) She is NOT talking on the cell phone OR day dreaming or nothing…just driving…maybe five miles over the speed limit but that’s’ ALL. She decides to get in the right lane so faster traffic can get around her. Now just two seconds ago, NO ONE was there! And guess what? This person must have pulled out of a driveway or something in a tiny silver car and I, I mean “she” cuts the car off…The person in the silver car starts beeping ,of course and the blond lady is properly embarrassed and waves her hands in the international gesture of I AM SO SORRY! There was NO accident-Thank Christopher! And God too,of course!!!! So anyway the silver car ‘backs off’ and thinks that the blond is some kind of crazy driver, so don’t get near her,blah,blah,blah…that’s what the very attractive blond lady driver thought anyway. They all approach the red light and slow down and the blond lady figures she will roll down the window and apologize, BUT the silver car pulls up first and an old lady with too much makeup on gives her “The Look” and “THE Finger” Hmmm, not nice lady! Have you EVER cut someone else off,huh? Of course not, you old bat! ANYWAY! Why can’t we ALL just get along? On the road, at the very least? No need to be so rude, either way, right or wrong…and if someone IS driving crazy, BACK OFF and let them go! They could be some nut with a 22 under their seat and you might piss them off by calling them an A-hole and then where will you be? Six feet under,that’s where! END of story and featurette! So, the only thing I have to say to the rude old Lady in the silver car that I cut off, yes it WAS me! Ha! I can admit it, big deal! Well ,what I have to say is this: Nice manicure, Granny!!!! thought I was gonna say something else?

  And we’ll go ‘round in circles,a ha,we’ll fly high like a bird up in the sky…

Traveling Mercies

I am not Catholic,but I have two favorite saints-Anthony and Christopher. I do not believe that you have to pray to them for help. I believe that I can go right to the source, BUT! I believe in prayer and St Anthony and St Christopher routinely help me out.

Any sincere prayer to God is listened to, so I figure why not? St Anthony has helped me out of a jam quite a few times, the most recent was when I lost some cash. I was frantic! a couple hundred bucks don't come easy anymore to anyone! I became desperate to the point of praying! Why didn't I think of it sooner? Duh! Within a few hours, there it was! It was St Anthony who helped me find it, I am sure of it! I told some friends about it a few days later after the couple told me he lost his wedding ring. They are not Catholic either, but I grabbed the wife's hand and my sisters' hand and asked St Anthony to help us find his ring. They looked everywhere! And guess what? They found the ring later the next day...hmm, coincidence? I think not!

Now I don't really pray to St Christopher on a regular basis, BUT I do pray for "Traveling Mercies" each time we travel...It is MY thing! My family will tell you and they remind me if I forget. I have angels in the car to keep charge over us and and keep us in all our ways. Psalm 91:11, my favorite verse, because I count on it...It is hard to have faith and trust of any kind much less in something or someone you cannot even see...I always pray for God to keep us safe in our journey and to bless those we leave behind and those we are going to. And I thank Him for his blessings.

Now I am NOT superstitious. I don't believe if I forget to pray that He will not grant His mercies. I just feel better when I pray. I am NOT an extremist as far as my beliefs (anymore! another blog...) I just pray, just talk to God and ask for His help, like He is my father, cause He is! Sometimes all I say is "God bless whoever" and believe that HE listens, even when I don't believe He listens!

Now I thought of Traveling Mercies and the journey of traveling. I have been on a journey for two years and have not thought once of praying for traveling mercies or to St Christopher. I just keep whining to God or saying stuff like "Oh, Come ON!" OR just send me some instructions in the mail and I will do whatever, just help a sister out, will ya? Not respectful enough,ya think? I don't think I mean disrespect, so No! That's not it...hmm...

I just need to realize that this is a journey and that I need St Christopher to "carry me" to completion. And I figure he has already been carrying me if I really think about it. It is just time to give credit where credit is due. I have been praying recently and "kissing the cross" Again, NOT Catholic, but it gives me comfort when I am facing daily struggles and I feel that I am not in this alone. When I am not near or with my family, I feel a loss of control, as if me just being there will keep them safe or something or at the very least I could get help for them as needed. What do I think I am? A "Saint"?

So, anyway, for me, prayer is the thing I count on...And I certainly don't mind a little help from my friends St Anthony and St Christopher. Oh and sometimes I cry out for "Holy Mary"

I get by with a little help from my friends, a little help from my friends...

Ho,ho,ho

Merry Christmas! It's almost here and Happy New Year too! I need to get my butt out of bed and finish up, but I am agitated. The phone rang at 8:00 and if you follow my blogs, you know I ranted on about people waking me up! "Are you talkin to me?" So I am in "paralysis mode" or what I like to call PM! It is dangerously close to PMS now,isn't it? And we don't want any 'flashbacks' to those years now, do we? Well, maybe just for fun, I WILL blog about the PMS years! I will make a "mental" note of it for the future...hmm So here's the thing...what the hell is wrong with people? Is there no  Christmas spirit left any where???                                              

Why are people so dang self centered and stupid? My daughter is a server at Hard Rock and she stayed late to wait on a table and the guy had a stack of $25 chips and he had a tab of $90 and he gave her SIX freakin dollars! WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? We always leave 5-6 bucks on a $20-30 breakfast tab! Twenty percent of 90=18, you A-hole! YOU SHOULDA LEFT $18-20, not SIX! Now, my girl is no pushover, but she is a single mom and when she told me this, I was livid! How she remained calm is beyond me! Here's what I woulda done: I woulda gone"New Jersey Housewife" on his ass and "Teresa tipped" the table at him, yelled a few choice words and walked out! I hope that guy loses "his shirt" and his house and his car and everything to gambling! No, I take that back, cause it's Christmas and I don't want to lower myself and be mean to him...So here's my New Years wish for him: I hope he gets a "brand new job" as a WAITER in 2011 and he can experience first hand the joys of the service industry "My lips to God's ears!!! My real new Years wish is this: that both my daughters find happiness and good health and good fortune doing jobs they love. I would wish them to find true love,but I am convinced that there are no more good guys out there...there is an entire generation of morons who "think" they are men and they are not good enough for my girls-better to be alone than with an idiot! Sorry girls, Mom's gotta tell ya this, but "there ain't NO white horse riding, Matthew McConaughy lookin knight in shining armor, real men out there anymore! I hope I am wrong, I challenge the universe to prove me wrong! WHERE are the Good Guys? All I want for Christmas is some hope that real men still exist and still do the right thing and he can "start" by tipping his server at least 20%...

You' re so vain, you probably think this song is about you...

Here comes CHRISTmas!

Five days until Christmas...wow! It comes faster every year and I hear myself saying "Grinch-like stuff" like "I hate Christmas" Why? Because it is too stressful and expensive and fattening! Yes! that is the worst...5 lbs for each holiday season adds up to 200 lbs in the last 40 years! WHAT? I WONDER...WHERE is Christmas? like the song the Whoville kids sang.What really makes it special ? and I realize that it is in the wonder of a child...that is where Christmas is...in the eyes of a child who still believes...the magic is there. I think everyone has a favorite Christmas as a 'child who believes' and mine is the year that I found out that there was no Santa...I was in second or third grade and I remember my grandparents coming over so late on Christmas eve and they said that Santa had to drop some stuff off at their house because he was so busy...hmm, I could swear I heard sleigh bells on the roof that night! Suspicious as I was, I chose to believe...it's like believing in Jesus...you have nothing to lose if you believe in Him and everything to gain if He is who he says He is...Santa was , to my childlike eyes, just like that, besides, at that point, Jesus was just a little baby that was born on Christmas! and He was so special that the whole world got to celebrate. Back to that night...I think I stared at the ceiling all night long and could not wait to get up! And maybe it was just a coincidence that my dad had a few good hauls in his job as a trucker, and that my mom was working as a waitress at a bowling alley and that we were living in a brand NEW house, BUT, it was awesome! I got a Barbie, a real one, with red hair and a "bubble" hair cut and a black and white striped bathing suit. And my grandpa made a "wardrobe" and it was full of Barbie clothes that my mom had sewn. There was even a real fur stole! Jackpot! I was happier than Ralphie in A Christmas Story! I was Ralphie! the female version! My sister ,of course, got the same, a Barbie too and we had to share the clothes but I didn't even care! now my memory becomes blurry here, but I think this is the very same Christmas that my brother got a brand new shiny red bike, much better than a BB gun any day! No danger there...he couldn't" shoot any body's eye out" And, my siblings will correct me if I am wrong, but I believe my sister got a life size Pollyanna doll with long blond hair! She looked just like Hayley Mills, my favorite actress! And she walked too! If you guided her and held both hands,of course! Now I was not forgotten, I too, had a life-size doll...she wasn't Pollyanna,though...she didn't even have a name and she had brown,fuzzy,short hair...Now "bubble" cuts were awesome on Barbie, but downright weird and gross and disgusting on a huge, clunky doll who's leg kept falling off! I got not only the best present of all, but the worst present of all. And I have "carried the scar of this for the rest of my life" as Candice Bergen would say! Whoa! And the best Christmas became the worst for my brother because his bike got stolen soon after, and he too, 'carries that scar' My sister, although, had a Barbie and a Pollyanna! BUT looking back, she deserved the best Christmas because she had earned it. She was a little fourth grader who took care of all of us! We did not have babysitters in the 50's and 60's. We became little adults and I was the "baby" so I got to be a kid for a couple more years anyway. Meanwhile my sister was making lunches and my brother was watching out and protecting us. Where were my parents??? Working, I guess... Christmas day ended with dinner at Me ma and Papa's. They added a "card table" next to the dining room table for the kids and we all ate dinner together...All I could think about was my Barbie...and the fuzzy haired clunker? she was in a corner near the Christmas tree, unappreciated and forgotten already...I never even gave her a name.

All seem to say throw cares away

Margaret! Margaret!

When my grandma was in a nursing home losing her dignity in the last years of her life,she used to call out for "Margaret!" None of us knew who Margaret was...She was 92 and she lost a lot of weight and a lot of herself within a few short years.. She did not have Alzheimer's, she was too old. She had something we used to call organic brain syndrome and we now call dementia...they are both ugly reminders of what getting old is going to do to us, most of us anyway-we cannot all have the grace and good fortune of Betty White. Grandma was not Marie anymore,she was a shell of someone we once knew and loved,even if she was a scary, old German woman, who just happened to be our Me-Ma.

Why did we let them "bully" us into the things we did when it came to her? There are things I will do different when I am old. I will NOT let my grandchildren decide because my own children don't know what to do or care enough to talk to me about it before I lose myself. My children deserve to feel the guilt of making the wrong choices, if they do, not my grandchildren. I want to be dropped off to any halfway decent old folks home, when I lose "me" and they can tell them that my name is "Margaret Jones" and then they should run, not walk away, run and never come back...I won't know who they are anyway, will I? I won't know "Jack or Jill" will I? so I won't know the difference. If I am in my right mind, then they can still drop me off somewhere and I will not piss and moan and whine about how awful my life is...I will appreciate" three hots and a cot" and be happy that I am not working and that I am actually retired.

 I will be happy and proud for my children and grandchildren and not guilt them into visiting me. If they don't come willingly, then I don't deserve them to come at all. In other words, I don't want to be a "beast of burden" Death must be better than being old and miserable and I would choose death. I will have a stash of sleepers and a box of wine stored away somewhere for the occasion of my passing if need be. I have specific things I want done to celebrate my life, not mourn my death...I have a book of instructions and I want it to be respected, but only if I have respected those who will want to celebrate me. I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of losing me, like my grandma, and becoming a ghost of who I really am.

Let me go when I am done and not one moment sooner, Dear God, I pray...but let me go before I turn into Margaret Jones, for my children's sake...The mind is a terrible thing to lose, but I am willing to give up my mind, but not my memory... I have so much more to say and I don't care if I am ever published or paid much attention to by anyone else...I do care that I was loved by someone and meant something to someone...

you can look back and say, "you did okay" you were loved...