What kind of woman are YOU?

Yesterday morning sucked! Yes, I said it, I just blurted it out! I am known to 'blurt' occasionally and without warning, I might add! So,get over it... Anyway, it just sucked... When a woman doesn't feel good or "up to snuff" as they say and what the hell does that mean,anyway? Well, back to the 3 things to take note of when a woman does not feel good!

Number One: She will not be wearing any jewelry, especially earrings, there is just too much effort to put them on, and then you just have to take them off when you get home! Oh Dear God! She will keep her wedding ring on, but if that is off, You need to sit down beside her and gently say "Are you alright,dear?" Be prepared though...she might just bite your head off and well, you DID ask now,didn't you?

Number Two: Not a stitch of makeup! if she's wearing some lip gloss and a little mascara, just back off and give her some room, she may be OK later, much later. Do you understand what it takes to put "on" makeup? It takes five minutes, that is what it takes and if she is NOT willing to "take five" and do this little ritual for herself, then she is either VERY late to work, VERY tired or she just don't give a rip!

 And number Three? Well, damned if I can remember number three! But it will come to me...eventually...I hope. So here I am, with little or no makeup, earrings only, ready to take them off at any confrontation and listening to a couple of Jackass disc jockeys on the way to work. And the gas light comes on...Oh, crap! I have $1.98 in my account (could be the reason I am so pissy, whaddya think?) Soooo,what do I do? Well, I pulled over, got out the I-phone (to call for help? Hell no! to FIND help!) and go to PLACES to find the nearest gas station. So I fill up with my "Target" card at the Chevron (rip-offs!) and I go cruising down the highway to work, or so I thought and where the hell am I? I am headed for the turnpike and the Florida Keys! Geez! How did I get here? After a split second decision of going to the Keys (or not) ran through my brain, I went across 2-3 lanes of traffic-who's counting? and did a U-ee...Is that how you spell U-turn?...

Anyway, I turned around which in the end was the "wiser course" yes! and headed toward work, and drove right by a Hess station that was 5-6 cents cheaper a gallon (again,who's counting?) and got to work-ON TIME! I walked past my co-worker and my supervisor (who just happens to be one of my BFFs for life, SO??) and put down my purse, grabbed my coffee cup and said "Are we allowed to put Kahlua in our coffee here? Or even Baileys?" And whooshed off to the nearest fresh coffee I could find! Well, they were so worried that they rushed after me! Remember! I ONLY had lip gloss and a little mascara on! SO, we all chatted at the coffee station and I brought up my theory, and they both said,"But we don't wear makeup!" Hmmm...Damn!

So I had to rethink my scientific process and come up with something fast! But, right then, at that particular moment in time...I had nothing...so I just went to work. Now today I think that women who do NOT wear makeup are just free in their own skin and when they DO put on makeup, look out! They are ready to have some fun now! But I was "raised" by a woman who had a hard life and always put her makeup on! When and if my mother ever "passes away" we will have to pry lipstick out of one hand and mascara out of the other...and you can be sure! She will have already put it on! She ain't going to no Pearly Gates or nothing without it! So basically, this blows my theory out of the water, too. And now that I think about it, my sister-in-law always wears a lot of jewelry! bracelets and necklaces and rings and she just had her gallbladder out...did they make her take all that off? Oh Dear God, I never even asked! How thoughtless of me! So maybe it is just ME...I am the one who doesn't wear makeup or jewelry when I don't feel good and the whole world should take notice, right? Yeah, I guess so...

The moral of the story is this! If you care about someone, take notice of the "little things" that set her apart and if she is NOT in her usual "state" whether it be wearing makeup or not, wearing jewelry or not and if she differs in any way on any particular day...LOOK OUT! Could be good...Could be bad...

You better run, you better take cover...

Blog! Blog! Blog!

So I've been a slacker---AGAIN! Guess I had a writer's block but that's a lie. I wake up at night and think of stuff to write about, but then because I HATE to write with a pen and paper anymore and I am really NOT gonna go downstairs in the middle of the night and write on my laptop...Oh HELL no! well, then I drift back to sleep and forget all about that awesome topic I had in mind. Sometimes I want to write about something "ugly" and in fact I do write about it, but then I do not print it...I hide it or delete it or send to a friend who I trust. And sometimes I write something real dramatic, like poetry a la Shakespeare, or even a screenplay! And would I print that stuff here in my blog? Hell no! No way, No how, not ever! Well...not yet anyhow. It's funny how the poetry is just TOO personal and I don't want to be judged too harshly...What if someone doesn't like it or doesn't get it and what if they don't "read" my play the way it should be read? I just can't take that kind of rejection...

 

So why is it okay to publish what I write here in my blog? Beats the hell out of me! I guess I am comfortable here having this little chat with all the blogsters out there! I am just "small talking" and sometimes "trash talking" with people who are actually taking the time to read this whole thing because....Gee, they really like me? They think I am Funny? They think I am right? They think I have a way with words? They think I am delusional? Perhaps and perhaps... So here is what I have done...I now have a laptop downstairs AND upstairs! Pretty brilliant, huh? Aww, not really, I just sorta convinced my husband that he should "keep" his laptop upstairs and I will now "allow" him to use mine downstairs, which he does anyway, as well as my daughter using it too...She DID have her own laptop until her daughter took all the letter keys "off " and did... I don't know WHAT to them...she put them back once and I'll be danged if the little squirt didn't plum do it again! So it has become the family computer anyway! I mean, who the hell wants to actually carry a laptop upstairs and downstairs? That's just plain CRAZY! So all my adoring fans (all eleven of you!) I am sure you are thrilled to know that at any point in time, night or day, I will NOW have access to blog all night and blog all day! Oh Joy! 

I want to rock and roll all night and party every day...

To The Bright Side of The Road

Been listening to country music a LOT lately...Why? Dunno. I think on the way home from work I like to imagine the story that they tell...kinda helps me unwind, I guess. The other day I listened to Stevie Ray Vaughn and damn near got killed cause I was so into it. Now the blues...the blues will make you want to "do the speed limit" on the way to work, but the blues will take you away to a place like no other...kinda like listening to some kinda drug, it just "plays on your mind" and relaxes you and just takes you...THERE...just there..."Hey,hey,hey! little sister"

The Blues takes me to Chicago and a bar, having a shot or two with my cousin Vori and "whoever else wants to come" I rarely do shots, but I WOULD, yes, I would if the situation was right and this would be right! And we would be taking a cab home and downing an excedrin before we crashed into bed and it would be late,LATE! And just for good measure,there would be a "ready and waiting" garbage can right next to my "spinning" bed, cuz it would be spinning, yes it would...

Now back to the country...Damn that Trace Adkins! He is the tallest, sexiest drink of cool water that I've ever seen, except for Trace Armstrong-he's a pro football player I met once and THAT man is a mountain and a fine lookin one at that! but ole Trace, he "crushes me" every single time I hear "You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back...these are some good times,take a good look around, you may not know it know" I am a blithering idiot by the time the song is done, and just for the hell of it, I play it again and blither some more! But NOW, now,now...he sings a song about fishing with his daughter...he calls her "baby" and sings so sweet to her, "but we're not fishing" Curses! Crumbled again! My dad called me "baby" and, no matter what kinda dad you had, if he ever DID call you baby, it was special and sweet and safe to be that daughter at that special moment...and as I type, I think of Trace and his three daughters that he wrote that song for ,and know why the song is about how much he loves them and NOT about fishing and you got it...I am once again, a blithering idiot!

There are other songs and other types of music that I love, of course! Some make me want to dance-Never left a dance floor feeling quite happy until I did "The Electric Slide" and some songs make me want to sing -Amazing Grace in the shower comes to mind...Hey! it is meant to be sung acapella OR with the Bagpipes, now isn't it? ( please don't challenge me on that one...please, just don't) And some like "Easy Lite Rock" actually help me work and study better...I am somehow less distracted when it is just there, in the background, soft and constant, like a friend.

So, where would I be if I didn't have "the music in me"? Cass Elliot sang it best "You gotta make your own kinda music, sing your own special song, make your own kinda music, even if nobody else sings along" Now, sometime soon we will talk about John Denver...the man could sing about life...was he really a folk singer? Who knows? But lyrics and melody were never more true then when he sang them...and was Jimmy Buffet a country singer? He tried to be, but he became his own genre; unmistakable, take me away to the beach and Margaritaville. “Bubbles Up”

Though the singer is silent, there is still the truth of the song"

Why is thus we are here and so soon we are gone?

I pledge allegiance to the flag!

Good morning Vietnam! A movie that Robin Wiliams was in a looong time ago...About soldiers...US Soldiers...Did we forget them then and do we forget them now? What do you think? Unless we are directly affected by someone we know who is a soldier, do we just go about our days and forget what they DO for us each day? right or wrong, they do their jobs to keep ALL Americans safe and sound...But are they safe and sound? hell no... Today I get my first name and I am excited like a little kid! I volunteered to be part of the LWT (letter writing team) for Soldiers Angels. I joined for lifetime and so they say I am one of them...WHO is the angel though? Me or the soldier? At mail call, it is just like any other war in the past, there are some who get NO letters, ever..."Snail mail" is still important to them. Do you know they carry the letters from home with them and keep them in their pockets? Just like any other war, or are we supposed to call this a war or a military action, like Vietnam was?

I am NOT political. To me the vast majority of polititians are crooks, BUT they are the leaders of the greatest nation in the world. I was raised to respect them and when I was a little girl, I pledged my allegiance everyday! And it stuck with me. My dad and grandpa both were in the war...World War I or II...who cares which, they went and fought for our freedom and don't forget, they also fought for the freedom of those in the world who could not fight for themselves...Why do you think we are in so many countries? To spy on them? No, to serve them and us...Us! spelled US...United States.

I never had a son...prayed for one for years, but He said no, until now...I have no "sons" in law or grandsons. And so, a light switched on when I was at a meeting at work and they talked about Volunteerism and different things we could do-I was very involved in the fight against cancer for a time...family and friends were afflicted by it and I would do anything for them. They suggested becoming pen pals with prisoners...Usually quiet in staff meetings, I blurted out " I'd write to a soldier, but NOT to some prisoner" And so, that started it, the whole thing.  no Big Deal if you volunteer for what afflicts you and those you love. Even the most evil will protect their own and I am properly scared straight enough, thank you very much, and I don't want to be pen pals with no big, hulking, tatooed kinda guys. But wait a minute! What if that big, hulking, tatooed guy was a U S Soldier? Now we're talking, or shall I say, "Now we're writing?" I don't know anyone close who is a soldier, just as well...they don't need a patriot! THEY are the patriots! They need a "mom" back at home to send the news about what's going on here. They are the "sons" I never had, and though I will never meet them, I will serve them proudly on paper! And so the adventure begins! I may have to start a whole new blog about them...Wouldn't that be awesome?

And I'm proud to be an American...

No man knows the hour!

Oh Dear God! I have been so busy living and working and worrying that I totally missed the email about today being the last day! Crap! How am I gonna explain this to The Big Guy? He will probably just take one look at me and say "It figures!" I am just not prepared...I have to write some more blogs and clean my house and pack it up and buy some birthday presents and pay some bills...wait a minute! SKIP paying the bills-just in case! I am not making light of the whole subject, believe me! I was involved in a religious cult for a few years back in the early eighties and they had us scared shitless! I constantly worried that Jesus was coming back and I was always "looking to the east" to see if He was coming in the clouds! Now what is wrong with that? God does not want us to worry! A life lesson I have been trying to learn...well, frankly, all my life! "Cast your cares upon Him, for He careth for you" When I clicked on some facebook thing "What is your life verse? "(from the bible) that's the one that popped up....know what I said? "It figures!" Back to the cult: Did I learn about love and forgiveness and life everlasting? Yeah, sure...a little bit, BUT there were conditions! Oh Yes! These people had rules and the rules were, mostly for women, IN FACT! the only rule for men was this: You have to wear a WHITE shirt if you want to come to the altar to pray or be prayed for. I am dead serious too. NOW for the women: 1. NO makeup ( Lotsa chicks in desperate need for makeovers in that church, Hell, even an old barn needs a little paint now and then, but not THESE old...well, you get the picture and it was not a colorful one! ) 2. No pants ( I think this was to distinguish us from being mistaken for men...all I know is since mini-skirts-one of my personal all time FAVORITE fashions- were not allowed, I did not dress so cute.) 3. NO jewelry, except for a wedding ring and/or a watch ( that was easy, didn't have too much at that time anyway) 4. You can NOT cut your hair! It is "a covering" kinda like, a yarmulke, or back in the day when Catholics wore those lacy things on their heads when they went to church. That was easy too, I already had long hair, leftover from my "hippie" days in the seventies...Who knew? But I went "rogue" and dyed my roots while my sister went traditional and well, I never really discussed it with her, but I think all the rules literally turned her hair gray! 5. You must go to church each service, no matter what!  Do you know how hard that was? Find a dress, not just for me, but two little girls, who by the way, I didn't make follow the rules, I let them wear shorts and look normal for the most part. I had to brush that long hair. Well I guess I did cut out some of the time by NOT applying makeup or putting on jewelry. Hmmm... And then there was Number 6. Ah yes, six, six, six! wait a minute! 666! Yikes almighty-the devil's number. Oh, man! No wonder this rule caused such havoc and trauma in all our lives! Hindsight is 20/20, right? The rule was this: No TV or movies, unless, it was religious programming! Yep! Well I could never give up TV, so we we watched TBN 24/7-all of us! No "Smurfs" for the kids, blue devils!...my sister went rogue on this and let the kids watch and I guess mine snuck over there to watch too. Thank God, they weren't total robots and had minds of their own, ALTHOUGH, 25 YEARS LATER, they throw the Smurfs in my face! Come on! Really? Smurfs? Mommy will buy you a $5 DVD at Walmart and you can watch all you want! Build a bridge and get over it!!! And this was the same as far as music was concerned too! Would that be Number 7? Now that is God's number, so music of all kinds must be OK, right...right? WRONG! Must be "religious" So the second trauma in our family was this: No KISS! They were Kings In Satan's Service! Oh yes, they were, so No KISS music and no KISS "Barbie dolls" for Christmas! Now to this day, my girls throw THAT in my face! Really? Hey, I LIKE Gene Simmons, he's a pretty smart guy and quite the family man...So Mommy will buy you a KISS doll ( only if I can get it real cheap on E-bay, mind you) and you can shove it where the...uh, where the other barbie dolls are: What did you think I was gonna say? Are we done? Am I still going to heaven now that I have exposed The Nuts, as I like to fondly remember them? I will never forget the Sunday when the preacher was talking about Jezebel and how she was basically, a painted whore, but he said it in "Church talk" WELL, that day my lips were chapped and I DID put some lovely pink, really more of a nude color gloss on my lips. Somehow I could never throw it away with the rest of my makeup (THAT was a dark day! I had a LOT of makeup! I LOVE that stuff!!!!) Anyway, my 'roots were freshly done too and that guy, that preacher guy turned and looked right at me! Can you believe it? He was calling ME a Jezebel! OMG! And that was before OMG, we would not have been allowed to say or write THAT, I can tell you right now! So! that was it!  I had an epiphany,I sure did! I sure did! and I took my kids and went home to my husband, who had by that time, stopped going to church ( He wasn't real crazy about WHITE shirts, they were too hard to keep clean and then he got tired of spending Saturdays working to fix up the preacher's house, hmm...so he built a different kinda bridge and basically "sprinted" over it) So! That afternoon, I went to Walmart and bought makeup, lots of it! and hair dye ( the bleachi-est blonde I could find) and I got shorts and jeans and flip-flops and I guess I was just having a ME moment (long before they were in vogue, don't ya know) because I totally FORGOT to get a Smurf VCR tape or a KISS Barbie doll for my kids! OMG! But I was FREE! just the way God wants us to be...He did not come to make us prisoners, He came to SAVE us, and save He did! I started building MY bridge and realized that God and/or Jesus do NOT reside in a church building OR make up crazy rules. He resides in my heart and I can honor Him by keeping Him there and when He DOES COME BACK, He will come and say to me as He takes my hand "Do you want to come with Me, too?...It Figures!"

He Was There All The Time, there all the time...

Just one word

Driving home yesterday, I heard a song and heard a word-one word and thought I want to WRITE!!!! Everyday every minute! there is so much to say! Hope I get to say it...I write best when I am alone and it is hard to find ME time, but I just need to get up early, I guess...easier said than done, of course! SO..the word was "Breathe" nice song...lulling,lilting,smooth...knock you out and put you to sleep nice! Anyone ever tell you to "Breathe" Maybe you WERE having a panic attack or just heard some disturbing news, BUT! Why do people say that? Isn't it a given that I WILL breathe, unless of course, I am having some kind of medical difficulty and even then, "Put some oxygen on my face and THEN tell me to "BREATHE!" That would be appropriate... Here's another one: "Count to ten" hmmm, why ten? Why not twenty? If it IS me, why not three? I want things to change and be better in three seconds, not TEN! Yes Three is my number...I only have three seconds of patience in me and then God help whoever told me to count to ten, because I will give them exactly THREE seconds to get out of my face and then "You better run, you better hide" Cause what ever the reason was that 'caused' YOU to tell me to count to ten will be GONE and I will now focus all my energy on YOU!...Maybe that DOES work...hmmm... Since we are bringing up "Stupid things to say to a Scorpio" how about? let me think..."Stop and smell the roses" which immediately cause me to take in a DEEP breath, which will make all the "Take a breath" people happy, I am sure! I will STOP! when and IF I want to...don't tell me...Granted, roses are lovely and perhaps one of the sweetest smells God ever planned, EXCEPT, He coulda made the fragrance stronger and the wind blow a little bit more around them so I don't have to STOP! bend over and smell them. Now don't all you "Garden People" start telling me that "there ARE roses that have a stronger,more aromatic smell, you know! "Yep! I DO know! Just saying, I might not have time to stop so the smell should just come right up to me to remind me to slow down, that's all...And I suppose...if I STOP, I will then "Slow down?" Yeah, whatever, Garden People, ya happy now? MY Scorpio "sisters" will have to check in and tell me if I am talking truth or talking trash, but some phrases that people say are just DUMB and annoying and these are MY Top Three! Now, If you "slip" and say one of these, I will NOT make you pay the price, I will ignore the stupid statement and forgive you, because...that is what I do...I forgive...IT is what gets me through this crazy game of life. BUT you can't go around telling people "Now, just STOP, count to THREE, SMELL and now, FORGIVE!" or can you? I will try this one out on a fellow Scorpio and my bet is this...She will look and me real funny-like and say "What the hell?" Perhaps you wonder...Do I ever say these things to people myself? Well, SURE, all the time! I'm a nurse, for crying out loud! I get paid for telling patients to "Breathe" ya know and sometimes I have to tell family members to go in the hall or outside and "count to ten" and then after all is said and done and things are better for them all...I tell them to "Appreciate Life and each other and slow down and stop to smell the roses" I LOVE helping people like that! Whew! Another subject to cross off my 'bucket list" of stuff to write about! Well..."Have a nice day, everyone!" and
Breathe, just breathe

Too much Stuff?

What is it with a Tee Shirt??? WHY can't I throw them AWAY?? I have too many clothes, like most people in this US of A, but I DO donate regularly to AMVETS...They give them back to people who need them...They don't SELL them to people who NEED them...So! guess you get THAT picture, huh? I go through my clothes, mostly Tee-shirts and I put them in the Amvets pile and then I take them back and then I put them back! Jeez! I practically have to take one of my vertigo pills before I do it...HOW can you be emotionally attached to TEE shirts? Well, THAT, my friends, was ONE thing I did not explore in my years of therapy!

I have a "Mickey Mouse" shirt from 1971, before Disney World was even built. We toured a little trailer on a lot in Orlando to see a "Diorama" of the future world that was to come. Too bad a guy wasn't sitting there selling stock in the company. Even a 16 year old would have done that! But I bought a tee shirt instead! I wore it SO much to school that my DECA teacher, Mr Crawford, who I had an incredible crush on, used to call ME "Mickey" I Loved being called Mickey, especially by him...Awwwww, the memories, the butterflies ,the....huh? well anyway, guess you can figure out my emotional attachment to that tee shirt and YEP! still got it! Hey, it's an antique now! I have a few 'other' Mickey Mouse Tee shirts and to part with any of them is not easy...

I went to Boston a few years back and have a red shirt with navy letters and it says ...BOSTON. What else would it say? The fabric is soft and I just LOVED Boston!...I have a red shirt from Clear Lake Iowa that is "swirled" into a Coca Cola like shape. The fabric is rough, ...but I LOVED Clear Lake. My sister had a duck shack there! and as any of you who were "raised right" know...Clear Lake is where Buddy Holly went down in a plane, so it would almost be disrespectful to the dead to get rid of it, huh?

I have several ST Patricks Day shirts! And I LOVE St Paddy's Day! We are all about celebrating it in my family and we have MANY extended IRISH family members who celebrate with us in our little hometown parade. Even the NYPD bagpipers show up for that one! Aye, but there are only TWO kinds of people,ya know...those who are Irish and those who wish they were! And speaking of the fabulous NYPD, I have a few "911" tee shirts that will hang in my closet eternally...enough said.

I have some silly Halloween and Christmas Tee Shirts, I "guess" I could give some of them up...but no way am I getting rid of my classic Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation tee shirt! Oh and I'm keeping Ralphie, from A Christmas Story too! Two of my favorite Christmas movies of all time...I really should go through my collection of DVDs and get rid of some of them too, but talk about "attached" I have some of the best romantic comedies and Christmas movies of all time in my collection! Oh MAN! Here I go again!...hmm, the CD collection should be cleaned out too. Crap!

I guess some things will always be favorites, and painfully hard to part with, because they define WHO you really are in the end, don't they?

I'm forever yours...faithfully